Verle Bell M.D.
[Originally published as Don’t Stare At Potholes!]
When I was a child, I rode five miles downhill to school. I could do 30 mph going, but only 5 mph coming home. Especially as I careened downhill, I learned that if I stared at a rock or a pothole coming up, it would suck me right in. I would be sure to hit it with my tire — to devastating results.
The highway patrol tries to warn people to not stare at an accident in front of you; instead, look up and steer to safety. Otherwise, by the time you figure out what is happening and what you should do, it’s too late.
What do you stare at?
In counseling, we have learned that when people spend all their focus on:
- the past,
- on being unlike one’s parents,
- on how they were hurt,
- on what they have or haven’t done,
- on the irrationality and severity of their obsessions,
- on what they don’t have,
- what they can’t do,
- who isn’t in their lives,
- on their fears of the future, etc., etc.
No one can make progress with these as the focus! We can be all too easily like Peter, distracted by the sound of the wind and waves, with our eyes off the Lord. We can become so preoccupied by our mess that we secretly believe that we are unfixable. Certainly, each of us is responsible for acknowledging that “I am the chief of sinners,” and I dwell in a sin-damaged world. I won’t make any progress until I admit that my thoughts, feelings, and “ways” are not naturally like God’s. But I also dare not get stuck on these downward-pulling focuses.
I Must Not Dwell On The Negative
Each of us needs to learn to regularly take the negatives of life to God and ask him if he thinks that his grace is sufficient (which he will agree that it is), then leave them there with God.
I remember one troubled lady who went to a business women’s lunch in which Christians shared testimonies. She decided to trust God with her own life and prayed, “Lord, if you think you can make anything out of the mess that is me, you are welcome to try.”
That’s the first step. The next is to learn what it looks like to “turn my eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face.” It takes more than wishful thinking to maintain a “first love” relationship with Jesus.
Heart and Habit
Remember, God has designed us to function when we combine both our heart and our habits. Many Christians can be so afraid of rote works and rituals that they don’t realize the importance of backing up their beliefs and desires with good habits.
Anyone who has seen a healthy marriage knows it is good when the couple determines to set aside a date night and works to defend it from all distractions. This does not rob the relationship of loving spontaneity but ensures the nurturing of the relationship. So it is with our relationship with the Lord.
I refer you back to the noon, supper, and bedtime “ritual” of seeing the Lord in
- something he has helped you do,
- something he has done in others or through them for you,
- or some little part of life he has given you to savor.
This habit helps us start to see him throughout the day.
As I walk through the crazy and busy of life, I’m sure that I will soon catch myself staring at another pothole of a problem. If it isn’t the Lord asking me to do the little I can, then I need to pull my focus away and walk the current situation with him.
